does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize