youre lurking in front of me
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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