just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
