Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
