you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
