now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We need to get me chipped asap
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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