so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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