He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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