i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your cock deserves a montage
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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