Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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