Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize