Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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