just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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