Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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