checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
