it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
