im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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