Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize