The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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