We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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