What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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