there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
