He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
