I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
