how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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