all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize