I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
