ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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