Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
