nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
