So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
