i permit you to call me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
