is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
