your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
