I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
