a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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