No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize