Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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