there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
