I hope mine doesn't look like that
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
