So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
