How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
