she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
