i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
