Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
