I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize