Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
