Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
not ubering you a puppy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
