I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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