Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
