I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
