the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
