I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
