I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
