just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
