In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize