Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
