Plan B is the new Plan A
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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