he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
