There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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